Browsing through shopping websites, Zeda is interrupted as red and blue boots flash before her eyes – the same boots she bought online a few months ago. She was not content with the funky teenager-look of the shoes when they arrived, so they have been resting inside her closet ever since.

She brings the boots out and considers just tossing them, but in a fraction of a second, changes her mind. She wonders if there may be an adventure awaiting, and decides to give it a go.

“What dress will go with these?” Zeda murmurs.

After spending an hour trying to decide, Zeda settles on a gray, knee-length dress. She finishes the look off with some glossy accessories.

Checking her reflection in the mirror, she quips, “Hmm not bad… I pull off ‘teenager’ perfectly. No one would guess I’m 28!”

Zeda grabs her small black purse and walks out her house entrance. Just as she reaches the bus stop, a bus arrives. She hops on and greets the driver.

Scanning her attire, he manages to inquire, “Going for a night out?”

Zeda nods her head and smiles, “Yes.”

The driver shrugs, “Yes, why not? After all, the teenage years are the best!”

“I agree. It’s the careless age between being a child and almost-grownup,” she replies as she strolls to find the perfect seat.

The seats at the front of the bus are designated for the elderly, disabled or people with children. The next part of the bus has been taken over by working class or middle-aged people, while the back is packed with students and teenagers. Zeda considers her options. She goes to the back and grabs a seat. Very soon the bus stops at the SkyTrain station.

Zeda skips into the Skytrain and grabs a window seat. With the striking chills blowing through the open window, Zeda gets lost in her thoughts. A memory…

A train parked on the station platform in Chennai, India. People are getting on and off the train. A girl, who is almost 13-years old, jumps inside the train. Following behind are her parents, who are busy fiddling their luggage. The family is going to Goa for a vacation.

Glancing out the window, Little Zeda notices tea vendors staring back inside, trying to sell cups of tea called Khulad– made from the mud. They are actually filled with chai, the sweet heavenly warm drink anyone can afford to buy.

She notices other vendors selling books and magazines. The platform is jam packed with people trying to get to their destinations.

 

“Zeda,” her mother lovingly directs her to come along. They enter a cabin.

“Namaste!” Her father greets the couple sitting inside. Everyone is aware they will have to adjust temporarily as they embark on this short journey as cabin partners. Little Zeda is very excited to see outside, so grabs a seat near a window.

 

“What is that?!” She screams, but her voice goes unnoticed due to the hustle-bustle in and around the cabin.

A dark- skinned man in a red shirt and blue pants, with dark curly hair and a large belly, appears outside the train, standing parallel to their cabin. He starts ogling and winking at Little Zeda. She doesn’t understand what the man is doing or what he is trying to communicate. He is quite far away, but still she is captivated by his action. She keeps staring at him, not expecting what is to come next.

The man in the red shirt swiftly rolls down his blue pants and lets his penis hang out.

Deeply imbibed in her curiosity, Little Zeda stares and stares. She checks her parents, but they are busy talking to the other couple. None of the adults are aware of what is happening outside her window. Little Zeda tries not to look back, but can feel the naked man staring at her.

She gives in, only to find the black ghost-of-a-man now rubbing and massaging his penis, relieving and relaxing himself.

Little Zeda remembers that before climbing on the train, she had seen many people lying in a miserable state, some with a scarcity of clothes, others fully naked. But why did she feel so filthy now? Was he not just another naked man? Why was no one shutting the window?

The man doesn’t move. Feeling overwhelmingly uncomfortable, she moves away from the window seat and joins her parents. Though a sullied and gruesome image remains intact in her mind and a sensation is travelling through her nerves.

A woman’s voice bellows, “The next station is Broadway!”

Zeda snaps out of her disturbing memory when she hears the Skytrain announcement. As she walks out of the station, she says to herself, “Oh yuck, bad thoughts!”

Zeda starts down the street. As she walks, she notices people hanging out on the patios of street-side pubs; many flower baskets dangling from the light poles.

In the vibrant ambiance, Zeda sees a crowd gathered in front of a store. She investigates. A young lady sitting at a desk in front of the door greets Zeda and inquiries what she is searching for.

“What store is this?” Zeda asks.

“It’s a marijuana dispensary,” the receptionist explains. “We can help you now, but only if you have a card. If you don’t have a card then you have to wait until we have a doctor in the clinic.”

Zeda nods, “Oh, okay. Can I see inside?”

“Yes,” the receptionist waves Zeda in and then returns to her work.

Zeda enters to find people rolling some sort of green leaves. She approaches a man with a moustache and asks if she could buy some from him. He refuses.

Immediately, the receptionist storms in, “Sorry, but you can’t bother our customers like this. I will have to ask you to leave. You can come back when the doctor is here.”

Zelda leaves the store and heads back down the street.

“I am not myself today. I want to try smoking up,” she exclaims to herself.

Zelda asks a kid outside if she could buy some weed from him. The kid shrugs and sells her some without question. Zeda glances at the baggie.

The kid smirks, “I don’t sell rolling papers,” and points to a convenience store across the street.

A few minutes later, Zeda, paper and weed in hand, enters an alley. She needs to find a safe stop so she can sit and roll the weed. The sun is about to set. She looks around and sees a house that is under construction.

”Ahh… looks like no one lives here. I guess this is a perfect spot to sit.”

Zeda puts her things on the step and starts to awkwardly roll her very first weed cigarette. Just then a lady shows up – an Asian lady in her 40’s carrying a Louis Vuitton purse.

Strutting up to Zeda, the woman demands, “Excuse me. What are you doing here? ”

Zeda quickly hides her stash, responding quickly, “Oh! I am just sitting here for a few minutes. This house is under construction, so I thought no one would be living here.”

The woman, snaps, ”Yes, it is under construction, but only the front of the house. There are people living inside.”

Zeda glances at the weed still on the stairs. Unable to pick it up, she remains seated, smiling sweetly at the woman, “Oh, I apologize. I will leave in a minute.”

”Ok. Well, just don’t sleep here. Make sure you leave soon,” the woman advises as she leaves Zeda alone.

“What? Did she just tell me not to sleep here? Do I look like a homeless person? I am a 28- year old, young woman. Why is she saying that? I have my makeup on and everything!”

Zeda then realizes, “Oh! I see. This is what you get when you dress like a teenager.”

She quickly rolls her joint and leaves. As she strolls down the street, she lights the green leaves cigarette with a lighter and smokes. Zeda walks down a dark empty alley with very tall trees. Realizing she is alone, but maybe not for long, she hurries her step.

Soon, Zeda is back on the main street. The lights are bright and the night is dark. The flower baskets dangle from the light poles and the people on the patios are talking loud.

All of a sudden the whole night goes darker and brighter, the people laugh louder. The sky is clear and a nice calm breeze touches her skin.  She realizes no one on the street knows her. She could be an actor, doctor, artist… anything. Zeda walks into the convenience store again and buys herself a pack of smokes.

As she walks out, she lights a cigarette, straightens her shoulders and holds her head high. She has no fear! She doesn’t need to hide anymore. She glances to the other side of the street. A group of men are looking at her. Zeda walks into the nearest pub.

Inside, she spots a large clock and blurts, “Wow. It’s 10:00 pm already!”

A waitress approaches, ”Can I help you?”

Zeda smiles, “Yes! Can I get a table for one please?!”

The waitress laughs at Zeda’s energy, “Yes! Sure, but we are closing at 11:00 pm.”

“Yeah, that’s no problem,” Zeda walks in. “Can I please sit outside on the patio?”

The waitress nods her head and leads Zeda to a table, “So, is this a night out by yourself tonight?”

“Yes. I am visiting from another city,” Zeda lies. It is her adventure and no one needs to know about it.

But the waitress presses further, “Oh, nice. Just traveling or visiting someone?”

Making up a story, Zeda replies, “No. I am a photographer. I travel and take photos.”

“Nice. I will get you some water and then take your order when I get back,” the waitress informs Zeda as she leaves.”

Upon the waitresses return, Zeda orders some food and an alcoholic beverage. She lounges on the patio while eating. No one even notices her. Feeling a little buzzed, she decides to finish her food and go back to her nest, her home. Zeda pays for her food and drinks then walks down to the Skytrain and hops on the train.

Zeda feels secure. Back at her home, she kicks off the red and blue boots as if she is kicking that naked man she saw once when she was 13.